Growing up, I’d hear men complain about women being ‘hormonal’. Some would “joke” about it throughout the month while others expressed their opinions in a much quieter fashion. Women, themselves, would attribute their crabbiness on their monthly visitor and blame their hormones for their sluggishness, poor attitude and lackluster charm.
I never embraced this theory though. Of course I had my own bouts with Aunt Flo and although she usually emerged the victor, I still didn’t give her full credit for my defeat. I chalked it up to me just being bitchy. I figured that’s just who I was (and still mostly am). I rolled my eyes at the mere mention of ‘hormonal’ activity.
Until…I had my hormone producers removed! That, my friends, was a game changer.
My ill-behaved female parts wanted to play games…very, very painful games. I was not a willing participant in these shenanigans and something had to be done about it. I know they produced two adorable human beings but other than that…they were a hassle.
After assessing my symptoms and genetic susceptibility of developing lady-parts cancer, my doctor suggested a total hysterectomy.
Hmmmm…no more monthly visits from my least favorite aunt, no more pain and a lessened risk of a potentially terminal illness? Count me IN!
I had the surgery, began a low dose of hormones and things were going seemingly well. What I didn’t realize is that under the surface, my body was going through hormone withdrawal. It was beginning to notice the lack of estrogen in its system. I found myself growing agitated much quicker and my fuse shortened to next to nothing.
Knock, knock. I opened the door and stood face to face with my new-found foe…MENOPAUSE! She’s an ugly, quasi-evil beast parading around like a hurricane!
One could say I invited her over, ya know…with the whole hysterectomy thing. But I contend that she was a surprise guest who came equipped with quite an agenda and hurried timing.
Most women get to ease into the abyss of hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, insomnia, mild facial hair growth, etc.
Not me…no siree. I got lambasted in the face with all that goodness!
My body was catapulted into the endless game of ‘Did she take her meds’?! The nerve racking, Russian roulette-esque past time that typically leads to at least one person wetting themselves. You can attain it at the corner of Crazy and Tread Lightly. It’s rated BCE (Be Careful Everyone).
And for the first time in my life, I respected these things called hormones. They can seriously take control of your body while you sit on the sideline wondering what the hell is happening! I watched myself act like a crazy fool. Yelling, screaming, throwing things, threatening people…oh yes…a good time indeed. I guarantee you that no one wants to attend this party…myself included.
This behavior was completely out of character for me but I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t in control. Her itinerary quickly became my emergent need to find a solution to the wrath of her ire. Needless to say, my low dose of hormones rapidly became a high dose.
Looking back, I still shake my head in disbelief that I would dare blame anything on hormones. But I’m here to tell you…they are real and demand respect!
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